Zim Xmen Uncensored stupidity
by orchadlo667
Summary: Scott gets kidnapped, Bobby has a nice ass and Steven Tyler has a secret. r&r plez! suggestions welcome!
1. Concert

Ahem..... Disclaimer: I own nothing  
  
This is my first fic... well at least that im posting and it reqires your upmost attention, witch is most likely that of a rodent. (note to self remember not to insult readers.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I could stay lost in this moment forever........." Steve Tyler bellowed as the audiance uproared. This was the best part of the job for him, screaming out some words and having girls 53 years younger than him throwing articles of unmentionable clothing at him. But no one knew his grave secret, no one would ever know........... except of course for the author.  
  
In the crowd two people were dancing along with the music. Well I suppose everyone was dancing, but they're just not important. These two people were important because they were loyal students of one, Charles Francis Xavier. So loyal in fact that they snuck out at two a.m., deliberately breaking a few major rules. One, Duh sneaking out, two, stealing the X-van, three, going to a bellowing ancient guy's concert. And last, tying up and gagging a fellow x-men. (They did that one for fun... if they were gonna get screwed for everything they did that night, might as well have fun with it...) Yes, there in the crowd stood none other than Jean Grey and Bobby Drake.  
  
But, unbeknownst (wow, big word) to them or any other of the x-men, there was another unlikely Aerosmith fan amongst (haha another biggie) the crowd. Ohh yes, unbelievable as it may seem, there sitting in his wheelchair was Professor Charles Francis Xavier.  
  
"Muah ha ha" he laughed evilly (quite out of character) " I have disobeyed MY OWN RULES!! I FEEL SO YOUNG!! ALIVE!! MOBILE!! HOT... OR DARE I SAY.. **Wiggles eyebrows** RATHER... SEXY. (All other mind reading mutants at the concert hear this rather putrid thought and in unison shuddered.)  
  
Suddenly Prof. X picked up on a familiar brain pattern. 'NOO!' He thought. 'COULD IT BE???... SCOTT! ..No... Wait... that's impossible. He HAS no brain waves. WELL, in THAT case.. it must be Jean and Bobby...JEAN AND BOBBY????????????? HOLY FRUITCAKES! Scott's gonna bi-otch slap bobby when he finds out about this one. I'll tell him my self.hahaha.'  
  
He followed the few thoughts he detected into the parking lot where he saw Bobby unlocking the door to the X-Van.  
  
"Hold it right the icicle butt!" Bobby studied his hindquarters closely (alittle too closely thought Jean as she analyzed him.) Bobby turned back to stare in confusion at Prof. X.  
  
"D...d..Did you just.... Did you just call me icicle butt?" He stuttered.  
  
"Thats right.. you..you.. Mister I can freeze crap. " He lamely tried to recover in his Dr. Evil type voice. Suddenly, from the back of the X Van, came a loud THUMP.  
  
"WTF?!?" Emma Frost shouted as she exited the concert trying to find where the hell her friggin car was in the mass of junky buicks.  
  
Prof. X had no idea what was kept in the back of that Van, and he wouldn't find out until next chapter. MUAH HA HA!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Well that was fun. Totally random but very fun. This utterly disturbing fanfic was co-written by an utterly disturbed author-Allison. The lady (who is a totally insane yet genius teen) who came up with this is Caroline rori Sarah Bella c-unit (not telling u the last name cuz then u'll stalk her day and night until she writes the next chapter.) Note to people: Caroline has a thing for capital names. It is VERY annoying and she should STOP NOW. 


	2. Stuff

Ahem.............  
  
Disclaimer: So sue me, big man. Who knows? Mabye you'll get a cut of my weekly ten bucks allowance.  
- Bobby Drake Note: Yes in fact i do have a thing for Capitals and allison typed most of the last chapter thats why its so hard to read.  
  
Chapter 2 of my most amazing story. Co-written by elvenarcher13  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(The parking lot of Jones Beach Stadium, Long Island.)  
  
Two loud thumps again emerged from the back of the X-van.  
  
"Bobby........" Professor X said in a warning tone "did you kidnap Orlando Bloom again?"  
  
"For the last time! I didn't kidnap him he just jumped in and somehow got tied up! And that was only one time!"  
(as this is written co-writter allison smirks in secret. She finds it intriguing that anyone could possibly think that the person responsible for the stalking and kidnapping of orlando bloom was anyone but allison herself.)  
  
The Professor and Jean Shared a knowing glance.  
  
"For god sakes I've got a girlfriend!" Bobby tried desperatly.  
  
"Well then tell us Bobby," said Professor X."Why did you ask Jean out then?"  
  
"WHAT?!?!?!" came a voice from the heavens.  
  
"Oh my gosh!! A voice that sounds significantlly like Scott's coming from the heavens!!" Bobby shouted. "Stop trying to change the subject!!" Prof X said. Bobby was cringing in fear since he had a terrifying hunch that the booming voice from the heavens DID belong to Scott. " Read my friggin mind if you reaaaaaally neead to know!!" "BOBBY!! Im gonna KILL you!!" said the voice sounding like Scott. No. Bobby thought. He cant. He's tied up in the truck. He cant get me. no.. noo..  
  
**GASP!!** Prof. X gasped. "Scott!!!" he shouted. He felt bad for Scott. with that large buick wedged in an odd place, it had to be cramped in the cheap van.  
  
"Jean, Get him outta there, GO GO GO MOVE MOVE MOVE!!  
  
" Umm... Prof... do you need to take your pills, again.. I'll get them..."  
  
"No. no that wont be necessary.::SIGH:: I just always wanted to say that..."  
  
"SCOTT!!"  
  
" But..But..What about the voice from the great heavens above?" Bobby asked curiously. "And how come you weren't tied up and all?  
  
"Bobby, your always reeking havoc around the mansion and yet you so amatureistic--"  
  
"Is that even a word you... you.. freaky laser eyeish word maker upper?" Bobby inturupted.  
  
"Shut up Ice ass. It is a word--"  
  
"Did you just say I had a nice ass? JEAN!!!" Bobby interrupted again.  
  
"SHUT UPPPP. As I was saying. you are an amature. AFTER my blindfold came lose, i twisted my hands out of the DENTAL FLOSS you used, then used the friggin chain saw to cut off my own legs!!"  
  
"Oh my Scott, Your soooooo brave!!!"Jean said, batting her eye lashes fervantly.  
  
"Jean, you idiot, Hes standing up!!" Bobby said, abashed. Jean shrugged."Professor!!" Bobby pleaded. Prof X just shrugged. He was enjoying this far too much to halt the countinuous bickoring.  
  
"Ok, so I got caught up in the moment.. I still have my legs. Yes, well, when I heard him say that you had asked Jean out, I decided to use the brand spankin' new mega-fone thing you convinientlly left next to me to freak you out. In between freaking you out I ate the gourmet dinner/buffet you had sitting in the middle of the van. I also used the portable toilet convienience in the back of the vehicle.I truely enjoyed the comforts of my kidnapping." Scott finished, with a proud smile. he winked at Jean.  
  
" Well, Scott, are you alright?" The Prof. asked when Scott had shut up.  
  
"I'm fine it was just a little cramped in there with my condition and all." Scott stated."That food was great."He added, to Bobby's fury.  
  
"Oh, Scott!" Jean bellowed dramaticly. " I'm so glad you're okay!"She ran dantily to him and swung her arms around his neck. "I can't believe BOBBY would do that to you while you were sleeping!" She cried.  
  
"But you--"  
  
"It's okay now Jean." Scott said, cutting Bobby off.  
  
Jean turned to Bobby and gave him an evil smile. Bobby had a look of complete outrage plastered across his face.  
  
"Allright every one time to go home and face your UTTER DOOM!!!!!!!!"  
  
Everyone stared at him blankly for a few moments.  
  
"...........Ummm I mean punishment." Professor X said.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Muhaha! Another chapter down!!! Yeah Baby!!! Allison is a genius. Caroline too. 


	3. More Stuff

Ahem.......  
  
Disclaimer: Stan Lee suks beyond all belief. OH NO I DONT MEAN IT!!!!!! KEEP MAKIN ME COMIX!!!!  
  
Chapter 3:The Good the bad and the Bobby  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Xavier Mansion, Bayville New York.)  
  
"Ugggggggggg" Bobby groaned exasperatedly.  
  
He was in the garage waxing the Blackbird for the seventh time, that day.  
  
"How the hell did mud get all over this thing!?!? I just cleaned this side!"  
  
Around the corner Wolverine chuckled to himself as he went to get a refill of mud for his bucket from Ororo's garden.  
  
After Bobby was done cleaning the Blackbird for the 28th time he headed inside. He walked into the kitchen to get a cold glass of soda, but when he entered he saw Scott standing on the table in a leather jacket and Roberto, Ray, Kurt, Evan, Sam, and Jaime were standing around him in similar wardrobe.  
  
"Boys were gonna make this table into a top of the line racer!"  
  
"What kind of racer Scotto?" Evan asked.  
  
"What kind of racer? What kind of racer?"  
  
Suddenly a Bass guitar a piano and drums could be heard.  
  
"Why this car is automatic It's systematic It's hydromatic Why it's a Scott lightning(Scott lightning) We'll get some overhead lifters and four barrel quads oh yeah (Keep talking whoa keep talking) Fuel injection cutoffs and chrome plated rods oh yeah (I'll get the money, I'll kill to get the money) With the four speed on the floor they'll be waiting at the door--" Bobby was disgusted to see Scott in leather with a weird do'. He decided not to poison his mind any longer and went up to check on the girls... Look at me, I'm Kitty Lousy with all things sugary, Won't eat no pixies stix, i'll just watch chick flix, Just because my name is kitty.  
  
Watch it! Hey! I'd like to stay, But I was not brought up that way Won't play lacrosse With Emma Frost, I cant, I might break a nail I say!! I don't drink (no) But I wear pink! I don't die my hair (eew) I don't think life is fair I can read books But HELL NO I can't cook! Look out for my muffins, please!!!  
  
As for you Lance I'd like ya, but you can't dance. Your hair really sux And your singing sounds like a flock of ducks I'm just plain Miss Kitty.  
  
Blob, OH Blob let me be! Keep that thick skull far from me! Just keep your cool and please don't drool Look out.. I'm Miss kitty!!  
  
"Are you making fun of me Rouge??" Kitty asked as she entered the room.  
  
"Some people are so touchy!" Rouge said. She turned around to—  
  
"AHH!! Bobby, did ya'll see me sing that whole song???"  
  
"Ummm "***runs far far away.**  
  
" OH MY GOD!!!" shouted Rouge.  
  
"He was watchin me sing in THISS??" she looked down at her lacy black undergarments. "BOBBY!!"  
  
Kitty, just catching on, said, "What song??" The other giggling girls in the room were, well, giggling. Except for Rouge. She was steaming over the fact that Bobby saw her with pixie stix in hand, wearing, wearing... these horrors.  
  
Bobby was having a rough time at the institute and wanted to create mass chaos.  
  
"Hey Scott, guys!! " Bobby shouted.  
  
"Go away squirt. We are grease lightning."  
  
"But, it's about Jean!!" Bobby said, knowing full well that that would gain his victim's attention.  
  
"WHAT?? Is she ok??" Scott asked, urgently.  
  
"OoOo..Shes fine. In fact I was just gonna tell you that the girls- including Jean- are all up in Kitty's room in.. in.." He couldn't suppress laughter, this was all too easy... he had all the guys full attention.  
  
The word IN is what there stares inquired.  
  
"in.. Their underwear!!" Bobby finished, cackling.  
  
"Well, I, for one am disgusted that you would even--- ahh the hell with it! ME FIRST!!!!!!!!!!" Scott said, dashing towards the stairs, followed by interested boys.  
  
When they came to Kitty's door, they saw something that none of them ever needed to see.....  
  
**************Cliffhanger. Yes I know. HA it keeps ya readin don't it tho?!?!?******** Mostly written by Allison this time round, but that's only cuz carlines entertaining little sisters with music. More frum her next time. 


	4. The good, the bad, and the Bobby

Ahemm.................. Disclaimer: see next chapter.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Noo...It can't be!!" Bobby said, horror struck.  
  
"It shouldn't be!" Scott said.  
  
"It's not!! I hope..." said Evan.  
  
All (except wolverine who had just arrived): Prof X. Is spying on half naked students?!?!  
  
"Oh, whew! Good, I thought he was putting mayo on bread. I find that gross...I mean ... OH MY GOD!! IS THAT JEAN!! Move over Prof.X!! Hellllloooooooo Jeanie..."  
  
Scott glared menacingly. Kurt shivered." Dude zis is not ze comic book! She's only like 18!" "So, she's legal." Wolverine Stated. Scott promptly tackled him. The boys watched for a few moments, then Bobby stood tall and stated loudly.  
  
"Okay everyone, time for bed." Besides a few mumbles he received no argument. He decided since everyone was in bed he could get his ice-cold soda. Bobby walked down one of the halls in the mansion, and then another, and then another, and then another. Finally he came to the conclusion he was in a part of the mansion he had never seen.  
  
"I've never seen this part of the mansion before." Bobby stated. He walked down another hall and found a tricycle.  
  
He shrugged his shoulders and hopped on. He knew Logan had a collection but this one was soft pink and most of his were tickle me pink. He rode down one more halls and when he turned the next corner the hall was unusually long. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a person at the end of the hall, no two people. Both identical.  
  
"Kitty?" He asked  
  
"Come have some muffins Bobby..." The two Kittys said eerily. An image of all the students and teachers in the mansion chocking on muffins flashed.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Bobby woke up in his bed drenched in sweat.  
  
"Oh dear lord..." Suddenly something swooped across the ceiling. Bobby started freaking out.  
  
"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna-"  
  
*SWOOP*  
  
Another whoosh from the cape of the dark night prowler. Bobby looked around franticly for something to protect himself with. He looked on his nightstand. Alarm clock? No. Book? No.  
  
*SWOOP*  
  
CD? NO. Tooth Ache Soothing cream? N-. WAIT. Tooth Ache Soothing cream? Bobby felt around his mouth. His back molar was missing.  
  
"Oh, no." Bobby said utterly terrified.  
  
*SWOOP*  
  
Bobby awoke once again in a air plane. He started calming down. Two girls approached him.  
  
"Uh, like, Bobby? Can we, like, have your seat? There are no two seats, like, together left." The first girl said.  
  
"Yeah," The second girl said, "you can go sit next to Tommy." She pointed to a guy sitting a few rows ahead. "Uh, yeah, sure." Bobby fumbled. He walked over and sat next to the guy that pointed to. Bobby tried to put down his tray table but the knob came off and the table fell into his lap not to be put back up. "Damn." Bobby cursed. "Hey man," he said addressing the guy next to him.  
  
"can we switch?"  
  
"Yeah, sure Bobby." Bobby was to the point of not even asking how he knew his name so he didn't. They switched and the plane started up. It got into the air and shook quite a bit and then the shaking ceased. The flight attendants all had smiles plastered across their faces as the passengers calmed from their initial shock. But then suddenly the shaking started again. The flight attendant's look of humor was replaced with that of worry. Sparks started flying in every direction and caused a fire. Soon the plane started plummeting towards the earth.  
  
Suddenly Bobby woke up he was in a old car on a dirt road.  
  
"Are you okay?" Someone asked fro the passenger seat. Bobby turned quickly and saw Kitty sitting next to him.  
  
"Yeah, Yeah" He sad shakily.  
  
"Fine." Suddenly a green monster with a trench coat on jumped onto the hood of the car. "OH NO!" Kitty screamed.  
  
"IT"S THE CREEPER!!" Bobby screamed at the top of his lungs and sat up in a hospital bed.  
  
"Oh, my God, Bobby Calm down it's okay!" Someone yelled at him. Bobby turned and saw Kitty standing there.  
  
"NO YOU'RE THE SHE-DEVIL!!! STAY AWAY FROM M--"  
  
"Ah, Bobby you have awoken." The professor said as he entered.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!" Bobby screamed. Suddenly Steve Tyler jumped through the window ran around a little then he stopped and screeched  
  
"I LOVE PIGGYS!!" Then he jumped back out he window.  
  
"As I was saying, while you were sleeping three nights ago when Kitty went on a pixie stick rampage." Prof. X glared at Kitty "She reeked havoc throughout he mansion."  
  
At this point most of the X-men had entered the room. He took a better look around. Rouge was in her usual garb except it was all pink. Evan reeked of rotten Milk. The Professor had an elaborately drawn tattoo on his head of two stick figures, a sun with sunglasses, and squiggly blue water behind the two sticks. Bobby cringed. Kitty must have found his permanent marker collection. Wolverine was wearing makeup... 'no wait its Sunday, that's normal.' Bobby thought.  
  
"She entered your room, obtained your markers, and then crammed a lethal muffin down your throat. You've been in a coma since. Now since you are up everyone must go home and FACE THEIR UTTER DOOM!!!"  
  
o_O**all turn to the prof. and stare, horrified.**  
  
"Uh, I mean punishment."  
  
**All sigh in relief, but didn't know that inside the prof and evil laughter was ringing, but he had enough control as to contain it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Yawn its two am me tired....................Next um.......chapter........ Um.................naval? I am sleep already, forget about tired. 


	5. Wow even more stuff!

Fi-to-the-izith Chapter  
  
Disclaimer-I owns a dog, X2 and some chocolate icing but nothing more.  
  
This story features Don Q. And I can't remember his little friends name so I named him Paco, after one of nohope666's many faces.  
  
"Muhahahahaha, yo." Toad laughed evilly.  
  
"What's so funny? Lance asked as he walked into the kitchen.  
  
"I have just heard news of the sacred you-know-what's."  
  
Lance promptly dropped the milk. "THEN WE MUST BOARD OUR HORSES, PACO!" Lance bellowed. "FOR I AM DON QUIXOTE!" "Ha, ha Donkey..." (Back at the mansion) "And further more, YO MAMA!" Everyone winced as the professor applied his harsh and maybe not-so-necessary scolding. "Oh, no you didn't!" Logan shouted. "Oh, yes I did Bi-och!" "You're my babies daddy!" O_o "O, man" "I'm gonna be sick." "That ain't right." "I'm so outta here." Everyone left right when the Professor and Logan started wrestling. And surprisingly enough the Professor was winning. Bobby went down to the rec room and turned on the TV. "Today A Brazilian crook shot himself in the foot while trying to burglarize a bar, then left a trail of blood that led police straight to his home, police said on Thursday. In other news Eight hundred volunteer wildlife watchers will be deployed throughout Germany in March in a giant rabbit count aimed at giving the clearest picture yet of the nation's endangered bunny population." Bobby shut off the TV.  
  
"This is the world I'm inheriting?"  
  
Suddenly Jean jumped through the door and pointed on finger at Bobby.  
  
"Queen, of the fairies!" Jean shouted. "I DEMAND THE FISH STICKS!"  
  
"What the he-"  
  
"PREPARE TO FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!" Jean spun around really fast (like when Sims are changing!) and when she stopped she was in a Xena outfit.  
  
"Oh hell no"  
  
(Wherever Scott is now)  
  
Scott walked down the hall tiredly. It had been a long few days. He was kidnapped, then had told Bobby he had a nice ass and t-  
  
Scott's thoughts were interrupted as he was knocked out by something that came flying through the window.  
  
(Kurt)  
  
Kurt ran through the halls trying to find Jean. For he had gone and checked the coffee supply they hid in the lower levels only to find it all gone. The reason they hid it all down there was because of Jean's obsession with it, which led up to the 'accident'. Or at least that's what the police called it for the protection of the community's sanity. For if they heard of such a thing happening in their own town they would be horrified. He had to find her.  
  
(Rouge)  
  
Rouge walked up the stairs to her room. She needed a book from her backpack to do her homework. She opened the door and without delay screamed. For there before her was Kitty, chuckling to herself, dumping all of Rouges newly-bought black clothes into yet another vat of pink dye.  
  
Then she phased through the floor still chuckling.  
  
"KITTY!! AHM GONNA KILL YOU!!!"  
  
Rouge was about to run after Kitty when she saw something strange. Kitty's bedposts weren't touching the floor. Rouge walked over to the bed cautiously. She moved the bed and was horrified by the sight before her. There had to be at least 200,000 Pixie Stix in a pile so high it propped up the bed.  
  
"Oh.............Sweet................l-lord.  
  
"EVAN!!!!!!!!"  
  
(Dark figure creeping around the house)  
  
A dark figure creped around the house. He was tall and slender. Ororo walked down the hall coming from the other direction. She saw another figure making it's way down the hall also. She couldn't quite make out the face but as she came closer it was clear who it was.  
  
"OH, MY, GOD! STEVEN TYLER IS IN OUR HOUSE!!!"  
  
Ororo turned to the far end wall and was about to pull the alarm when she saw a conveniently placed Steven Tyler exterminator. She pushed the button and a colorful ribbon shot out.  
  
"OoOo! Ribbons!" He said and started chasing them. He was led right into an angry Logan, Amara and Ray.  
  
"Steven Tyler?" Logan asked.  
  
"Why does everyone keep calling me that?" he asked. Suddenly he pulled on a zipper and the Steven Tyler costume fell to the floor. Everyone gasped in shock.  
  
Cliffy yes I know. This one wasn't too great but it set up for what's gonna happen next. Even tho I don't really know. SUGGESTIONS WELCOME 


	6. Haaha short one

One cent, five cent, ten cent, Next Chapter!  
  
OMG I've been busy so just read on! But I just wanted to say that Zim actually shall only enter when he is needed. For I fret he may upset the stupidity meter. If I need help for something to happen he will be my little helper.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Logan asked  
  
He was confused, because there before him, stood Gir!!!!  
  
"I LOVE PIGGYS!!"  
  
Then Gir jumped out the window.  
  
"Holy canoodles!" Logan shouted. Everyone stared at him for a few moments before turning the attention back to the situation at hand.  
  
"Ok everyone, I think we should just-"Ororo paused as Jean walked past the group in a Xena outfit muttering to herself and dragging a very scared and very duck-taped half-naked Bobby Drake behind her.  
  
"I think we should just forget anything we just saw." Ororo said blankly, still staring at the receding back of Jean Grey. She received a few mumbles as a response since everyone else was staring too.  
  
(Downtown)  
  
Scott (who had somehow magically awoken) and Evan were on their way to a store in town called Pixie Stix and Metal Tubes. Surely Kitty must have gotten her supplies from this place. But they just had to make sure. As they approached the store they saw cop cars and yellow tape. Scott got out of his car and walked up to the scene.  
  
"What's going on officer?" Scott asked.  
  
"Um, Scott that's not a police officer. It's a mailbox." Evan explained calmly.  
  
"Oh." Scott approached a man.  
  
"Officer, what happened here?" Scott asked.  
  
"One more try, Scott." Evan said as he led Scott away from a confused Ollie the Magic Bum.  
  
"What happened?" Scott asked the actual police officer.  
  
"Well first, some guy with a bucket on his head comes in here and steals some metal pipes. Then this girl comes in here and takes *all* the Pixie Stix." Evan and Scott's jaws dropped. All of them? Had they heard correctly? They couldn't have. Wouldn't that mean there were more than what they saw? MORE!?!?  
  
"Oh crap."  
  
(Rogue)  
  
Rogue was sitting at her desk writing something. "Sweet revenge."  
  
_Uh, Oh_  
  
Well that's all I can write for now my science fair is tomorrow and I gots to work on that also I think im a gonna start another story! Yay! KEEP THE REVEIWS COMIN AND ILL KEEP THE CHAPTERS COMIN!!! 


	7. Secret Door that resembles a window

Chapter S-oap  
E-ats  
V-alentines  
E-ven in the  
N-orth  
  
To all my reviewers- Yay! I love you guys soooooo much!! ur the bestest eva!  
  
Umm my own personal OC is in this chappy so it's kinda lame so I can introduce him.  
  
Wow. I just read Scrawler's story, UH HUH, and im inspired. I TIP MY NON- EXISTANT HAT TO YOU Scrawler.  
  
Hi ho silver!!!!  
  
Evan walked out of the theater after seeing Secret Window for the fifth time.  
  
"Curse you Columbia Pictures!!! For every $8.75 I have spent on this movie, the plot has sunk further and further into abyss!!!!" Evan yelled to the sky while flailing his arms about wildly. Something was making him act all...woozzieish.... Either it was the years of bleach in his hair that was finally seeping into his brain or it was all that butter he drank out of the dispenser behind the counter when the cashier person wasn't looking. Either way he was acting weird and forgot why he came to the movies in the first place so he decided to fly home. Yes, you read correctly he decided to fly. He spread his arms out and started making plane noises. He ran around the corner and home.  
  
(The mansion)  
  
Gotta leave town  
  
Got another appointment  
  
Spent all my rent  
  
Girl you know I enjoyed it  
  
Ain't gonna hang around till there's nobody dancing  
  
I don't wanna hold hands and talk about our little plans, alright!  
  
Cold hard bitch  
  
Just a kiss on the lips  
  
And I was on my knees  
  
I'm waiting, give me  
  
Cold hard bitch  
  
She was shakin' her hips  
  
That's all that I need  
  
The professor was singing again. Logan sighed. He heard cats howling so he came out to the lawn to scare them off. What he saw somehow didn't surprise him. The professor was rolling around on the lawn in Potterpuppetpals.com underwear and was wearing a shirt that said 'Naked Time!'. Logan slung the Prof. over his shoulder. "Okay, time for your medication."  
  
(Some basement type-room)  
  
Scott doesn't know that Jean and me  
  
do it in my van every Sunday.  
  
She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go  
  
Still she's on her knees and Scott doesn't know!  
  
Oh Scott doesn't know!  
  
So Don't Tell Scott!  
  
Scott doesn't know!  
  
Scott doesn't know!  
  
So Don't Tell Scott!  
  
Jean says she's out shopping,  
  
but she's under me and I'm not stopping...  
  
A strange sight. Bobby was playing the guitar, Kurt was playing the bass and Ray was on the drums. There was an unrecognizable lead singer. He looked like he was all rock and could bellow almost as well as Steven Tyler but my mom taught me never to judge a book by its cover. She taught me well. This guy sucked.  
  
"Okay, Okay." Bobby said and stopped playing. Kurt and Ray followed his lead.  
  
"So how did I do?" The sucky-dude asked.  
  
"Ummm, you sucked?" Bobby tried.  
  
"Oh." ... ... ... ... ... ... "NEXT!" Kurt shouted. Sucky-dude, who shall now be called Carl for... reasons, exited only to be attacked by a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, angry Scott. Next entered a tall guy with shortish-spikey black hair, a black Ramones t-shirt on and really baggy black pants on. "Name please." Ray requested. "Uh, Ian Perry."  
  
"Okay what song have you selected?"  
  
"Uh, if you guys know it, Can't get my head around you?"  
  
"Yeah sure lets go."  
  
Two words. Ian rocked.  
  
(Later in the professors office)  
  
Ian sat with the Prof. In his office. "So in a strange twist of events you seem to be a mutant Ian."  
  
"Really what are my powers?"  
  
"Ummm, like, so not important. Let me give you an example of what will you will be experiencing if you stay here." Suddenly the lights dimmed and the Prof. Jumped onto the desk and started irish-stepdancing.  
  
"Oh.............sweet................lord." Ian said "It's the 90s all over again!!!!!!" He ran home he decided he would live at home and go to the band practices on weekends, while the Prof. had the rehabilitation sessions that scary guy was yapping about.  
  
(Rouge)  
  
"Sweet, sweet revenge."  
  
Well that was crap. 5 reviews and I shall continue!  
  
A few things to note:  
  
www.potterpuppetpals.com is the best site eva!! Go there and watch 'Bothering Snape' first.  
  
I just had to put Ian in. he wont be there a lot but I love him so hes there.  
  
Scotty doesn't know is from Eurotrip, which was friggin awesome!!!!!! I just revised it a little.  
  
SUGGESTIONS WELCOME! 


	8. The Cajun Strikes!

Chapter Ate  
  
Disclaimer: NOOOOOOOO EVIL MUFFINS!!!  
  
Long weekend so I have time to write but on Tuesday I have to go on this stupid retreat thing for confirmation but I get the day off school. And today, Monday, we got off for some teacher workshop thing.  
  
Scott walked down the hall with Gir by his side. They were men on a mission. Like that song from Devo. What mission you ask? To find where Kitty hid her stash.  
  
"Okay Gir, first job. We need cool gadgets and weapons. Open up your head and pull 'em out like in all the episodes." Scott instructed.  
  
"I got riiiiiiid of all the weapons." Gir stated.  
  
"Gir! Why would you do such a thing!?!?!" Scott shouted  
  
"To make room for the tuna and piggys!" Gir screeched. Scott's tiny little brain took a second to process this thought. After awhile Scott came to the conclusion that 'piggys and tuna' was guy language for beer and hoes.  
  
"Then lead me to this 'Tuna and Piggys'." Scott said.  
  
"Okay!" Gir screeched happily.  
  
(Jean)  
  
Jean stalked down the hall once again wired and wearing her Xena outfit. She was searching for her next prey. Suddenly Kurt jumped out of nowhere dressed in a Hercules outfit.  
  
"We have come to conquer you evil...lady-person."  
  
"We?" Jean questioned questioningly. (Which im supposing is the only way to question.)  
  
"Yes we." Kurt said as Ian and Suckey-Dude Carl emerged from the shadows.  
  
"Oh crap."  
  
(Kitty)  
  
Kitty had calmed down a little and was again searching for her stash. She tried to remember where she placed it last.  
  
"Looking for dis, mon ami?" A voice asked from behind her. She spun around, and there was Remy! Yay! And he was holding a bag up.  
  
"Hah, nice try Cajun, but my stash is waaaaaaaaaaay bigger than that puny little thing." Kitty stated. She figured Scott must have asked Remy to try and resolve this issue.  
  
"Damn, beginners mistake." Remy muttered under his breath. Remy walked away, for the first time in his life, defeated. 'Non' Remy thought 'Remy can not be defeated, He shall go back and-' His thoughts were interrupted as something bright caught his eye. It was dark so he could not make out the figure easily. He approached the figure and what he saw did not surprise him.  
  
There kneeled St John on the grass, neon orange hair and all. He was on his knees one hand propping him up. He had a distant-looking expression on his face and his mouth was open the slightest bit. But what bewildered Remy the most was the fact the he was holding a penny between his thumb and forefinger and hovering it over the blades of grass.  
  
"Mon ami, if you don't mind Remy asking, what the hell are you doing?" Remy asked like he was speaking to a small child.  
  
"Geeez, mate, what's it look like? I'm mowing the lawn." John answered snottily. "Geez what a nit-wit." He said as he turned back to the lawn.  
  
Remy shook his head and walked away.  
  
Okay im runnin low on stupidity gimme a day or two and ull get an extra- stupid chappy. REVIEWS PLEZ!!!!! 


	9. important note!

Dear ppl. I must work fast I am on my moms computer in her office. Sorry I couldn't update Microsoft word isn't working on my computer I have to wait to update.  
  
Sorry bout all this.  
  
If you really want it email me and I might give u the next chapter on an email.  
  
-much love orchadlo  
  
ps- fight the sweedish wrestlers!!! 


	10. Short One the second!

Chapter Nione  
  
sorry i haven't updated in awhile. ill get as much as i can done now but it is easter so im workn on it.  
  
Ps- Ian has come to live w/ them now.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Shiver me timbers!" Ray shouted out of nowhere.  
  
"NO! I REFUSE TO SHIVER ANY TIMBERS!! ESPECIALLY YOURS!!" Bobby shouted and ran away like a sissy girl.  
  
"Is it just me, or does Bobby tend to run like a sissy girl alot?" Amara asked.  
  
"Yea"  
  
"Yup"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Bobby ran down the hall. He was afraid they migh find him. They meaning...THE LEAPRACHAUNS!!  
  
BUM!!  
  
BUM!!  
  
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!  
  
He walked over to Kitty's room planing to ask to borrow Kitty's leprachaun exterminator. He opened the door and secreamed a horrible, deafining scream.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hey," Remy said. "Did anyone hear dat horrible, deafining scream?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Nope"  
  
"No"  
  
"Okay." Remy said and went back to reading. A few minutes later a very unhappy Bobby Drake walked in, covered in black paint. Rouge let out a small 'eep'.  
  
"Bobby, what happened?"  
  
"Well, I was going to my room when I heard he leaprachauns again."  
  
Everyone gasped simultaneously.  
  
"No! This time it was diffrent, I didn't event see a beaver!"  
  
Everyone flinced at the memory except Ian, who was still,in fact, clueless.  
  
"So, I went to Kitty's room, to ask to borrow something," Everyone held their breath for a second. "don't worry, NOT one of her mini-skirts, again." Everyone sighed in relief. "But when I opened the door, I was dreanched in black paint." Everyone looked at each other curiously, when suddenly their thoughts were inturpted by Bobby speaking again.  
  
"But luckly it didn't get on my new baby-blue thong."  
  
o_O  
  
"Here, look." Before anyone could stop him Bobby ripped off his pants, threw them in a corner and started shimmying.  
  
"MY EYES!!!!"  
  
"I'VE GONE BLIND!"  
  
"DEAR SWEET LORD!!!!! IT'S HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Hey a party!" The professor shouted as he wheeled past the room. Suddenly he stood up, ran over to where Bobby was, ripped off his pants and joined Bobby in shimmying.  
  
O_O  
  
"Oh............My.....................God."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
r&r plez!! 


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